Title: What I Want
Fandom: Tiger and Bunny
Summary: Barnaby has a very unexpected response to getting hurt, and Kotetsu is too worried by it to leave things alone.
Warnings: Man sex, dubious consent, implied rape (in later chapters), and all my usual guy-sex warnings. You guys know my stuff by now, right?
4. Warned
The shower was a good place to think.
It didn’t beat the bath, which Kotetsu preferred, but the hot water and solitude allowed him to really process what had just happened and try to put it into some kind of order. Something had changed Barnaby from his usual reserved, cold self into a kind of frightening sex monster, and Kotetsu was pretty sure that the something had been that pop to the balls.
That alone was bizarre enough give him pause. He couldn’t imagine how something so painful could inspire such demanding lust, but it was the only thing he could think of that seemed out of place. Barnaby certainly didn’t come onto him out of the blue because he’d wanted to; his impatience pretty much made that a bygone conclusion. Their day had been a normal course of paperwork and other small issues, so that wasn’t it. He hadn’t seen Barnaby eat or drink anything prior to hitting the gym that could cause such a bizarre response, so his mind returned to the only thing left.
It was incredibly baffling.
He dropped his head in the spray and let the hot water wash over him, eyes closing as he recalled the way Bunny had just left him like that without even a backwards glance.
‘I hope he’s okay…He wasn’t himself at all this afternoon…’ Guiltily, he added, ‘Because of me…’
No matter how he looked at it, he’d started this bizarre chain of events, but something else nagged at him. Clearly it wasn’t normal to have a reaction like that when hit in the tender regions, so why did Bunny react like that?
And how in the hell was he going to be able to face Barnaby tomorrow at work?
He sighed and rinsed off, feeling a little hollow and lost. Thinking back on it, he was deeply ashamed that he’d given in, that he hadn’t fought tooth and nail until Bunny had stopped. Just what in the hell was wrong with him, anyway, that he’d do such a thing to his partner? Was this loneliness really just a part of getting older? Was it so unbearable that he’d stooped to taking advantage of Barnaby when he was clearly out of his head?
“You selfish old man,” he breathed, stepping out to towel off and dress. He’d gotten rid of his gym clothes, ruined as they were, and made a note in his phone to pack a fresh set for tomorrow. He hesitated a moment, looking at the screen on his phone and seeing the drawn reflection of his own worried face. Deciding to risk it, he scrolled his contacts and called Bunny, anxious to know if the younger man had gotten home okay, though he’d seemed perfectly himself when he’d left.
“The number you have dialed cannot be reached at this time. Please hang up and try again…”
“Come on, Bunny,” he murmured, trying again but getting the same message. At a loss, he quickly tapped out a text message and sent it, “Did you get home safely? Don’t forget to eat dinner and drink plenty of water, okay?”
He almost came out of his skin when his phone buzzed in his palm, but it was only Antonio wanting to know where he was.
“Ah, sorry! I just got done showering!” he said, hurriedly grabbing his bag and heading for the door.
“Is he coming with you?”
Kotetsu winced a little, a vivid image of Barnaby rearing over him flooding his mind’s eye.
“Er…no, he…He said he had some things to take care of, so he won’t be there,” he explained. “Maybe next time.”
“Well hurry up!” Antonio barked, and he could hear the faint sounds of the others laughing. “The kids have to get home before long.”
“Sorry, sorry! I’ll be right there,” he said, and hurried to his car once Antonio had hung up. Bunny’s spot was devoid of the flashy red sports car he drove. Kotetsu worriedly thought he’d been in no good shape to be driving.
But Barnaby would just tell him to mind his own business, so Kotetsu reluctantly decided to do just that.
He spent a sleepless, uneasy night alternating between pretty wrenching guilt and a growing sense of having been wronged somehow. When that coil of thought cropped up, he crushed it pretty quickly, preferring to be the guilty party in what had happened. He couldn’t fathom what had gone wrong, but if he’d started it somehow, then that was that. If Bunny hadn’t been in his right mind, then neither one of them had actually consented to it, and that just added another layer of complication.
He headed into work early, hoping to catch Barnaby before Mrs. Norris came in. He really didn’t want any curious observers for whatever conversation they were going to have.
Barnaby was already at his desk, flipping through a file as per his usual, looking every bit the snotty prince he seemed.
Kotetsu hesitated a moment at the door, clenching his hat in his hands, uncertain how to approach him. Taking a deep breath, he approached his desk, saying, “Hey, Bunny. Are you okay?”
“Not that it’s any of your business, but yes,” Barnaby replied, only paying him half his attention. “And my name is Barnaby.”
Kotetsu dropped down in his chair, flummoxed.
“Er…Say, Bunny…I was worried about you getting home last night – ”
“I saw that you had called. Please restrain yourself from prying into my personal life, Old Man,” Barnaby coolly told him, deigning to give him A Look. “The text was also unnecessary. I am perfectly capable of caring for my own health, thank you.”
“Yeah, but after what happened yesterday…” Kotetsu said, trailing off because he had the sinking, sick feeling that he wasn’t going to like what was coming.
Barnaby’s brows rose in inquiry.
“Well…I mean…what happened in the gym – ”
“Please stop talking around the subject,” Barnaby said, frowning. “Say what you mean, Old Man, or this could take all day. If you mean my migraine, then I assure you that it’s perfectly resolved, and I’ll remind you again not to pry.”
“M…migraine?” Kotetsu squeaked, surprised. “Wait, you had a migraine?”
“Yes, I thought that’s why you were pestering me last night,” Bunny said, irritated. “Though I had no idea how you knew since you were gone by that time.”
Stunned, Kotetsu could only stare at him in the horrified realization that Bunny had forgotten what had happened. Testing him to be sure, he said, “Hey, Bunny. Give me what I want.”
He expected flinching or a similar reaction, some kind of response to the only phrase that Bunny had repeated the previous evening.
Instead, Barnaby heaved a soft, put-upon sigh and asked, “Will you leave me alone if I do?”
Kotetsu frowned, his chaotic thoughts trying to make sense of what was going on.
“Well?” Barnaby asked. “What is it, Old Man? What do you want? Another two dollars? I don’t have any change this morning.”
“Say, Bunny, what do you remember about yesterday in the gym?” Kotetsu softly asked.
“Honestly, what is this fascination with how I spend my time?” Bunny breathed, blowing out a frustrated breath. “Is there some sort of purpose to these questions?”
“Humor me,” Kotetsu said, somber.
For all of his airs, Bunny at least indulged him when he was serious, and the young man said, “We all spent a few hours working out like we usually do, and everyone decided to go to some restaurant, so you all left. I started to get a migraine and decided to drive home before it got worse. I took a pain pill and went to bed. Satisfied?”
“Everyone?” Kotetsu numbly echoed. “Even me?”
“Well, yes, of course,” Barnaby said, pushing his glasses up, his own bright green eyes narrowing with growing confusion. “Is everything alright, Old Man? You seem a little surprised.”
“No, it’s fine,” Kotetsu said, reeling with shock. Somehow, some way, Barnaby’s memories had rewritten themselves and completely taken Kotetsu out of the equation, altered back to the point where every trace of what he’d done to Bunny last night had been erased.
It was chilling and filled him with an even deeper fear than he’d already felt for Bunny. Memories didn’t do that, did they? There should be some small part of his partner that remembered what had happened, but there was no trace of unease about him, no sign that anything had happened.
Like the whole thing had been a bad dream.
Could it be the work of a Next? He couldn’t recall them coming into contact with anyone unusual lately, but that might be an answer. But why would some random Next somehow affect Barnaby’s memories? What was the point in making him someone else for a little while, and then erasing the whole thing from his…
‘It’s happened before,’ he thought, the sinking feeling changing to one that felt dangerously like he’d be sick, and he hadn’t had enough breakfast to do it justice. Someone had done this to Barnaby on purpose, and it looked like the purpose was to…take advantage of him like some living, breathing blow-up doll.
“Old Man?” Barnaby asked, his voice sharp with concern. “Are you ill? You’re awfully pale.”
“Say, Bunny,” he said, his voice cracking a little, he was so upset. “How many times do you get those migraines, do you think?”
Barnaby gazed at him for a long moment, assessing him for clues before he finally shrugged and told him, “Twice a month, at the most. Please don’t concern yourself with it. I’ve been through thorough examinations and I’m quite healthy.”
“Twice a month,” Kotetsu whispered, folding his arms on his desk and lowering his head, quietly horrified and wracking his mind for who on earth was capable of doing such a thing. Sure, Bunny was understandably vain, kind of standoffish, sometimes condescending, and usually rather smarmy, but he was just a brat, for Heaven’s sake! No one, no matter how despicable, no one deserved to have this kind of thing done to them.
“Old Man? Please do your work properly,” Bunny scolded him. “Your desk is for working, not sleeping.”
He lifted his head enough to ask, “Do you know what causes them? Your migraines?”
Bunny gave him another considering Look but, surprisingly, answered, “No, they’re completely random. Please stop asking me about it. It really isn’t any of your business.”
“Hehe, right,” he said, straining to find his usual placating laugh. He propped his chin on his folded arms, his eyes tracking Barnaby without even meaning to. Knowing that Barnaby didn’t remember what had happened between them didn’t make it any easier to see him. Kotetsu still remembered, and it was both awkward and appalling to look at Bunny’s clean, sculpted profile and remember those same lips covering his own…
“Old Man, what are you dazing about?”
Bunny’s sharp voice cut through the memory and brought him back to the grim reality of the younger, annoyed man glaring at him.
“Mr. Lloyds has called for you twice, I said,” Barnaby repeated, scowling. “Were you actually asleep just now?”
“Hehe, uh…yeah, I had a restless night,” he said, giving Bunny a wide grin to cover any sign of distress.
“Honestly,” Bunny said again, heaving a sigh. “And you harp on me about my health. Well?”
“I’m going, I’m going,” Kotetsu assured him, holding both palms out in surrender. “Sorry, Bunny.”
“It’s Barnaby!” the man hissed, and angrily adjusted his glasses yet again before utterly ignoring his partner.
“Yeah…”
The halls were filling with workers on their way to their various tasks, making for a crammed ride up the elevator where Mister Lloyd’s office was. Kotetsu usually didn’t mind people around him, but today he was feeling a little…fragile and he really kind of wanted to be left alone to think about Bunny’s situation.
“Ah, Tiger, good,” Lloyds said, glancing up at him when he came in. “Shut the door behind you. We need privacy for this.”
“Yes, sir.” He did as he was told and came to stand before Lloyd’s desk, uncomfortably aware that he was still considered a less than valuable employee.
“Tiger, Mister Saito sent me this,” he held up a slim, tiny portable storage clip between his fingers as if Kotetsu would already know what was on it.
And he had the uncomfortable realization that he probably did.
“Apparently, the programs that monitor the private areas of the building picked up variations in activity and alerted him last night,” Lloyds said, grim. “Do you know the incident that I’m referencing?”
“Y…yes, sir.” It was hard to stand in front of that man and say it, but he managed to keep his back straight even if he couldn’t meet Lloyds’ eyes.
“Saito informs me that there was what appeared to be a sexual assault,” the man said, his gaze hardening. “Were you thinking, perhaps, of going to the authorities regarding this?”
That surprised him into meeting the man’s frigid gaze. “No, sir! Of course n – ”
“Good.” Short, clipped, and entirely unfriendly, Lloyds continued with, “Barnaby is our star hero and brings in the bulk of profit for Hero TV. I would find it exceedingly unfortunate if I had to let you go due to a conflict of interest.”
“Conflict…?”
“I would prefer that you find a way to handle this quietly, Tiger,” Lloyds told him. “If even a hint of this got out, it would damage Barnaby’s reputation beyond repair. Apollon Media certainly doesn’t want that, and if you have any desire to remain a hero by the remotest standards, you don’t want that, either.”
Kotetsu bristled at the threat, but his concern for Bunny overrode any lingering feelings of having been wronged himself. In a tight, angry voice, he said, “Nothing happened.” He snatched the clip out of Lloyd’s hand and told him, “I’ll take care of this, sir.”
“I expect you will,” Lloyds told him. “I’ll be out the rest of this week for various meetings. I want you to smooth things over with Barnaby before I get back. We can’t have this affecting your partnership, do you understand, Tiger?”
“Perfectly, sir,” Kotetsu said, and briefly inclined his head before leaving. He made sure to very carefully close the door behind him so that it didn’t slam, because he was brimming with indignation at the way Lloyds had just dealt with him. Hushing it up, sweep it under the rug, don’t rock the boat, consider yourself warned – what if one of the female staff had found herself in the same awkward position he had last night? He hoped things would go very, very differently…but considering it was Bunny, he rather doubted it.
He didn’t immediately go back to their office. Instead, he sidetracked to see Saito, who had apparently seen enough to be alarmed by it.
He found the round little engineer at his computer, fingers flying over the keys. Hesitant to interrupt, Kotetsu finally settled on knocking and calling out, “Mister Saito?”
Saito stopped and turned his chair slightly, his feet paddling in empty air.
“Tiger, what are you doing here? Did you speak to Mister Lloyds?”
He had to watch Saito’s mouth pretty carefully to make out what he was saying, but he was getting better at putting the bits together to form a whole.
“Say, Mister Saito…is there any way you could destroy that footage from the gym last night?”
Saito leveled a frank, unhappy look at him and shook his head once in the negative.
“Could you, maybe, password protect it or something?” Kotetsu asked, drawing closer. “Make it so that no one could access it?”
“Tiger, assault is a crime,” Saito whispered. “If you’re ashamed because you’re a man, please don’t allow yourself to become an alarming statistic – ”
“No, Mister Saito, please, listen,” he earnestly said, grasping for ways to convey the situation properly. “I think…I think Bunny has been…been affected by another Next.”
Saito’s thin brows went up and Kotetsu took it as a silent invitation to continue.
“He’s never done anything like that before,” he rushed to say, his words stumbling over themselves like his clumsy feet usually would. “I’ve never known him to be violent or scary like that before. I hurt him on accident in a really unusual way, and I can tell you that it wasn’t really Bunny who was there with me. I mean, it was, but some Next made him act like someone else, and now he’s forgotten everything about it, and I’d like to keep it that way…”
Saito’s expression clearly conveyed that he thought he was hearing bullshit, and he wasn’t buying it.
“I mean, come one! A handsome kid like Bunny doesn’t need to take advantage of an old man like me, right?” Kotetsu chided, trying to find some kind of humor if reason was failing. It fell flat, though, so all he could do was speak the honest truth. “Honestly, Mister Saito, if you saw it the whole way through, I’m the one who hurt him. Bunny may have started things, but I finished them, and if he wasn’t in his right mind, then that makes me the…assailant.”
The word felt bitter and wrong, but probably because it was true.
“I don’t want Bunny to ever see that. If anyone managed to leak it, it could ruin his entire life, and I don’t want to be responsible for something so terrible,” he quietly finished, anxiously smashing his hat in his hands, the clip digging into his palm. “Bunny wasn’t himself, and I don’t want to hurt him more…more than I already have.”
Saito blinked and seemed to come to some sort of decision. He turned away from Kotetsu and spent several long, silent moments working at his computer. When he finished, he turned back and whispered, “I’ve locked it under a security code. No one will be able to access it without my approval. I hope you know what you’re doing, Tiger. Hiding something like this can only cause problems.”
“Bunny is a good kid with a bright future,” Kotetsu said, thinking of his partner’s brilliant charisma with the camera. “Something really wrong has happened to him and I’m going to figure out what it is. Hopefully, I’ll be able to sort it out without him remembering any of this, and then none of it will have happened, right?”
Again, Saito leveled a stern look at him and whispered, “If that’s what you think, Tiger, then I hope so.”
Kotetsu knew a dismissal when he heard one. Depositing the clip deep in his pocket, he returned to the office just as a Call went out.
“Shift it, Old Man,” Bunny said, brushing past him with a smirk. “Time equals points.”
Kotetsu buried his misgivings and worries and tagged after Barnaby, wishing and hoping that he hadn’t fooled both himself and Mister Saito.
Because if he couldn’t get to the bottom of what was happening to Barnaby, then there was no way in the world he could ever pretend to be a hero with the weight of his own crimes dragging him down.
5. Detecting
A Backup for Ridiculous Nonsense 